Let’s talk love languages. If you don’t know you’re love language(s), then you’re in for a treat!
If you already do, consider retesting to see if it’s still true.
I’ve done the quiz 3 times over the last ten years and it has been really cool to see how my experience of and expression of love has evolved over the years, if you haven’t taken the quiz in a while, I highly recommend seeing what’s changed for you, if anything.
WHAT ARE LOVE LANGUAGES?
There are five ways that humans express and feel loved. They are all important and all unique. While most people have one or two highly dominant love languages, everybody tends to enjoy receiving all 5 in varying degrees.
1: WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
This person when they are verbally built up with compliments and appreciations. A compliment and a heartfelt “I love you” go a long way with this one. Conversely, negative comments can hurt this individual deeply.
2: ACTS OF SERVICE
This individual feels cared for when you lovingly take necessary tasks off their plate, like changing the oil in their car, doing the laundry, fixing the broken track of the closet door. However, if you perform these acts out of obligation and martyrdom, it can negatively impact your partner and corrode trust.
3: RECEIVING GIFTS
For this individual tokens of love mean the world to them. While often undervalued because it can be mistaken as materialism, tokens of love have a big impact on this person. This could range from a loving post it on their morning coffee mug, to sending them a love letter, to picking up their favorite ice cream on the way home, to a well thought out and luxurious gift.
4. QUALITY TIME
This person flourishes when they receive your undivided attention. No screens or distractions. You being physical there isn’t whats build them up, it is your full and caring presence. This doesn’t mean that curling up with a good movie isn’t fun for this person, but if you’re checking your phone or getting up to do stuff, this will negatively impact their experience of feeling connected to you. This person treats their time as super valuable, so if you make wishy washy plans or don’t follow through on your plans with them, it can be very hurtful.
5. PHYSICAL TOUCH
This person is lit up by caring touch. Everything from erotic to platonic. These people are often huggers. The enjoy holding hands, kissing, hugging, cuddling etc OFTEN. Without physical touch, this person feels unloved. Experiencing you physically, as well as others they love, is super important.
Also, unexpectedly, the way you EXPRESS love is not necessarily the way you RECEIVE love. For example, I LOVE giving gifts but Receiving Gifts is not my top love language. Cool huh!?
Also, sharing the same primary (or top two) love languages can contribute a lot to compatibility in a partnership. Now I wouldn’t rule a candidate out if you found out that you don’t share the same top love languages. Just know that you will have to bring some extra attention and intention to expressing love for one another in a way that works for your partner.
HERE ARE MINE IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE:
8 Words of Affirmation
7 Quality Time
7 Receiving Gifts
5 Acts of Service
3 Physical Touch
What are yours?
If you don’t know, take the quiz HERE!
Then shoot me an email and tell me which love language lights you up the most!