My STORY
"Everybody wants love."
He said, "But almost everybody settles for connection."
My stomach dropped out and hit the floor. It was like someone had sucker punched me.
It was early December, 2015. I was at my first Date With Destiny. Tony Robbins, a giant of a man, stood maybe 20 feet from where I sat and looked out over the crowd of three and a half thousand people, and was calling us all out. There is one place that even the most ambitious people end up settling the most.
In their relationships.
That was it. That was exactly what had been bothering me for so long.
You see, I had a very odd upbringing.
I grew up on a small island in a cooperative housing group (aka commune without the weird guru, just people buying land together and raising their kids in a tight knit community).
We had just about every family dynamic represented: multi-racial, multi-religious, multi-generational, LGBTQ, nuclear, no kids, lots of kids. You name it, and we had it. To me, a “normal” family could look a whole variety of ways.
I happened to be an only child and I lived with my mom and dad until I was 10.
That’s when my mom died from ovarian cancer.
She had been sick off and on for years and as you can imagine, this didn’t lend itself towards a “traditional” family experience.
Losing my mom was devastating and still has a profound impact on me to this day.
It was early December, 2015. I was at my first Date With Destiny. Tony Robbins, a giant of a man, stood maybe 20 feet from where I sat and looked out over the crowd of three and a half thousand people, and was calling us all out. There is one place that even the most ambitious people end up settling the most.
In their relationships.
That was it. That was exactly what had been bothering me for so long.
You see, I had a very odd upbringing.
I grew up on a small island in a cooperative housing group (aka commune without the weird guru, just people buying land together and raising their kids in a tight knit community).
In their relationships.
That was it. That was exactly what had been bothering me for so long.
You see, I had a very odd upbring.
I grew up on a small island in a cooperative housing group (aka commune without the weird guru, just people buying land together and raising their kids in a tight knit community).
We had just about every family dynamic represented: multi-racial, multi-religious, multi-generational, LGBTQ, nuclear, no kids, lots of kids. You name it, and we had it. To me, a “normal” family could look a whole variety of ways.
I happened to be an only child and I lived with my mom and dad until I was 10.
That’s when my mom died from ovarian cancer.
She had been sick off and on for years and as you can imagine, this didn’t lend itself towards a “traditional” family experience.
Losing my mom was devastating and still has a profound impact on me to this day.
Then, 3 years later, my dad remarried an incredible woman who helped raise me through my turbulent teen years, until they got a divorce shortly after I left home at 18 years old.
As a child of not only death AND divorce, but also an alternative community environment, I grew up without an assumed relationship model.
In fact, the more I paid attention as a young adult, the more I realized that most of the relationships I saw around me seemed to be unfulfilling and unhappy.
In high school, I remember looking around at my friend’s parents and realizing that they seemed to fall into two camps: either miserably married or miserably divorced.
"Either there has got to be a better way to do this whole relationship thing or why the hell are we doing it?" I thought.
And that's when I picked up
my first relationship theory book.
I was 16 years old.
My unusual background had instilled in me an uncanny curiosity that led me to ask unusual questions about how relationships worked and how they might be done differently. Without knowing what I was doing, I spent most of my twenties trying to “figure out relationship” with inconsistent and painful results to show for it.
I dated a man who didn’t want me to go into the grocery store with him because I was “too much”.
I dated someone who treated me well and who I loved deeply, but I felt unworthy of their love and so I sabotaged it by being unfaithful.
I dated someone who made me laugh more than any other person ever had but he was unable to hear me when I shared my needs or that my feelings had been hurt and we regularly ended up in fights that made me feel invisible and unseen in our relationship.
By and large, I dated people who were unavailable.
I felt like I could NOT get the whole partnership thing right.
Instead, I decided to spend some time intentionally being single to work on myself and get right in my relationship with myself.
And I did. I built a successful business, traveled the world, curated an incredible community of friends, cultivated the best health of my life, and was living a wonderfully enriching life.
So, about 11 years after picking up that first book…
And striking out over and over with the different people I had dated, it was Tony Robbins’ comment at Date With Destiny that would launch me on a journey that would finally answer the question that had quietly nagged at me all those years.
“So, how do we create really good love?”
This simple question led me on a pilgrimage and down some very interesting rabbit holes. I began to notice that there were predictable dynamics at play. The best part was that when we understand these frameworks, we are able and empowered to create the kind of intimacy, connection, attraction, and partnership that we all truly desire.
Everything I learned along the way led to the eventual launch of my company, Truly Chosen. Looking back, it now seems clear that I had been preparing myself for this work my entire life.
My entire love life shifted.
I began to date people who were growth-oriented, intelligent, passionate, purposeful, good communicators, avid lovers of life, and adventures just like me.
Most importantly they treated me well, were clear about what they wanted, and even when we weren’t the right fit, the goodbyes were caring and gracefully made.
In short… I was dating the kind of people that just a year before, I hadn’t really believed existed.
It’s an art, not a science, but I had pieced together this “unconventional approach” that not only worked for me, but was positively impacting my friends and family, and soon my clients.
Today, I am more romantically fulfilled than ever before...
I came out as queer in 2022 after doing some really incredible self-exploration. I feel more liberated in my self-expression and understanding than ever before.
I am in a thriving relationship where I feel the safest, most seen, most adored I’ve ever felt.
My partner matches my range and we adventure incredibly well together. In moments of doubt or disconnect, we both lean in courageously and with grace to try to reconnect and understand the other person’s experience.
My family and friends adore him and vice versa. Life with someone has never felt so creative, nourishing, and easy.
We laugh often and freely. We love to travel, entertain our friends, and explore the wilderness together.
We positively contribute to each other’s success, health, happiness, and growth.
It’s a relationship that has been beautifully healing and brings incredible meaning to my life.
The relationship you want and yearn for is out there. It might require you to show up with new courage and creativity, but I believe you can do it.
Just like I have.
Just like my clients have.
I have watched countless individuals call in remarkable love, and have watched countless partnerships unlock entirely new levels of passion, intimacy, and care…
The question is, are you ready?
Because if you are, I've got you.
Hi, I'm Theora!
I’ve been a dating and relationship coach for 6+ years. I’ve self-fashioned the equivalent of a Ph.D. in relationship theory and practices by studying personally with and learning closely from many of the leading experts in the field – including Tony Robbins, David Deida, John Wineland, Alison A. Armstrong, Londin Angel Winters, and Justin Patrick Pierce, to name a few.
I combine a variety of modalities including neuroscience, relational psychology, the energetics of intimacy, as well as easy-to-implement, actionable practices to help my clients cultivate the love, intimacy, and partnership they truly want.
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