I’m actually a pretty big fan of cancel culture because at its heart it’s about holding people accountable for their actions, and I get pretty hot and bothered about accountability!!!
That said, it’s never as black and white as all that, and for many instances we still need there to be roads to redemption for people who actually care.
At the book launch, Dan Savage was asked about some of the stances he’s taken over the years that he’d change his mind about as times changed and lessons were learned.
There were several things he outed himself for that, when he started his advice column Savage Love 30 years ago, he now owns were problematic and harmful.
I appreciated his willingness to hold himself accountable but more interestingly I learned something about how important it is for influential figures to start out on the wrong side of history but be in the process of getting on the right side.
Out loud.
On public platforms.
Savage was wearing a Real Time with Bill Maher t-shirt, on which he has been a guest several times.
(The real reason he wears the shirt is because of how it shows off his biceps, lol. I digress…)
And he pointed out that Bill Maher’s discomfort with gay sex didn’t prevent Maher from defending gay rights (similar to how Bill Maher’s current-day discomfort with transpeople’s genitals doesn’t stop him from voting to support trans rights).
I’m not suggesting we cosign Maher’s bigotry, because honestly I dislike the guy, but Savage pointed out that Maher actually serves an important social function.
Bill Maher represents the discomfort of a lot of would-be allies and him working through it on a public platform – the way he does on his show – actually creates a vehicle for his audience to learn alongside him.
As he works it out, out loud, making grotesque mistakes in an effort to understand and fulfill on his progressive beliefs, his viewers end up doing so as well in the privacy of their own living rooms.
The discomfort he betrays lives alive and unaddressed in a large percentage of his viewership.
His homophobia lives in his audience.
His transphobia is also alive and well in his audience.
But as he has guests on his show, who he asks offensive and obscene questions of, Maher learns, and his discomfort lessens, and at the same time his audience learns, and their discomfort lessens.
And this is essential.
In real terms this means that this section of the public becomes more and more likely to vote for and support just legislation DESPITE their internalized prejudice.
And this is essential.
This is one of the many important edges of progress.
So, for a young woman who watched Bill Maher’s standup when she was 20 and concluded he was an offensive bigot costumed in left-leaning rhetoric, I now see that there is an important role to play for jerks like Bill Maher.
That there are avenues of change and progress that do not look identical to my preferences and values but that they can be equally important to our collective evolution towards a more humane and just world.
And that is my last and final lesson from the Savage Love A to Z book launch event!!!
Thanks for coming along for the journey and I hope it inspired you to think in new ways too!
Much love to you,
Theora
P.S. Want to buy your own copy of Savage Love A to Z, you can get it here! (Our favorite, independent, black-owned bookstore doesn’t carry it yet so I tried to find the next best thing.)
