No. You shouldn’t have sex on the first date.
Or the second.
Or the third.
So when should you have sex?
I get asked this question pretty often…
My opinion may not be popular but I’m more interested in helping you create what you want than having you like me.
Do you want to be with a remarkable person who is devoted to you and over the moon to be in a relationship with you?
Then my professional opinion is that you should wait until you are in a committed relationship to have sex with that man.
If you are having sex before that, let’s explore WHY.
Have you considered why you are having sex with someone who is unwilling, uninterested, or unable to commit to you (yet)?
I see so many incredible people having unfulfilling (often disheartening) sex because the culture around it is so casual.
Do you want your sex to be sacred, devotional, and meaningful?
Then it’s time to upgrade your standard for who gets access to your body and eroticism.
What if you took sex more seriously?
What if you decided that the only people who got to touch and adore your body were people who had shown you that they were trustworthy with your emotional and mental well being?
A person who was excited to commit themselves to you?
A person who felt honored to be invited into your sexuality and sensuality?
A person who had demonstrated that they are invested in their connection and relationship to you?
You deserve the kind of sex that opens you up to god.
You deserve sex that makes you feel deeply seen, adored, desired, and exalted.
You deserve sex that feels safe, loving, and intimate.
That is not going to happen if you treat sex casually and let others treat your sexuality casually.
And please don’t misconstrue this. I am not saying people should be abstinent.
I HAVE SEWN MY WILD OATS.
I am suuuuuper sex positive.
I support sexual exploration and deviancy!
This is not about denying him sex or denying yourself sex.
This is not about denying yourself pleasure.
This is NOT about shaming you or your sexuality.
This is about you showing up effectively for what you want to experience in your life.
If the real result you want is a committed, loving, adventurous, erotically satisfying, exciting partnership… then consider waiting.
This is about recognizing when “fuck scarcity” is making your decisions for you.
Understand that “fuck scarcity” will sabotage your efforts to create the kind of partnership you really want because it is going to divert and detour you energetically.
It is going to make you feel urgency when there is none.
It is going to trick you into believing there are limited opportunities for intimacy,
It is going to trick you into being sexual with people who you like but don’t fully trust.
Going slow now and setting yourself up to call in your Soul Love will result in ALL THE SEX later.
There will be an abundance of sex.
The best sex of your life.
Virtually on demand!
The scarcity is an illusion and one that will keep punting out what you really want further into your timeline.
So what’s the rush?