At first I could hear the regular rolodex of thoughts murmuring in the background.
“I should start working out again.”
“Why can’t I just get myself to do a yoga class at home?”
“I’m eating so much.”
“Who would be attracted to me when I’m not in shape.”
I felt like I was losing the strong, thinner body I’d cultivated over the first half of the year…
And then, seemingly out of nowhere, another voice arose and started to contend with the old, critical drill sergeant who has wanted my body to look different ever since I was old enough to covet teen magazines and have an unassailable crush on Josh Hartnett.
“Cycles are healthy my dear one.”
“Yes, you are softer and curvier right now, and it’s beautiful.”
“It’s how you rest in your body that makes you exquisite, love.”
“Your body is still recuperating from one of the hardest years yet, slowness is essential.”
And I felt it. I really felt it.
The guilt-driven desire to work out to get my body to look different quieted down.
I connected to just loving my body.
Through thick or thin.
Knowing me, I will go through another phase of inspired and passionate exercise that I love that will make me strong and help me sleep deeper.
But right now I am in a phase of sleeping in, slow walks with Arlo, and late night snacks that make me feel like a little kid getting away with the most delicious mischief.
There can be so much pressure to “be optimized” and in constant improvement.
But Nature flows in cycles.
It is not always Summer. It is not always Winter.
Even places that are hot year round have dry and rainy seasons.
As a rule, I trust my body.
There is peace of mind in trusting the wisdom of her cycles.
Resting doesn’t feel good forever.
Pushing my edge doesn’t feel good forever.
But looking back, flowing between the two has always served me well.
I want to relish whichever cycle I am in, and not lose out on all the nourishment that each one provides because I’m wishing I was someway else.
There can be immense power in choosing to truly be where we actually are.
Not making it wrong but choosing to love it as it is.
Imagine how many more things in your life could be more beautiful in your eyes if you found a way to love it exactly as it is, even if just for a moment.
Your body is masterful, intelligent, and wonderful always.
All the time.
P.S. In case loving your body as it is currently hard for you to do, I highly encourage you to check out Sonya Renee’s book The Body is Not an Apology
P.P.S. There is also a wonderful podcast hosted by my dear friend Katelyn Parsons called Body Truth, and she has on the most remarkable guests! Give it a listen and I guarantee you will learn something new every episode.
P.P.P.S., If you want to stay connected, sign up for my weekly newsletter here. I promise I won’t spam you.