If you’ve ever worried that the kind of man you really want to be with might not exist, breathe easy, I’ve got good news for you.
So, it turns out that there are remarkable men just about everywhere.
(Wait what? Did she really just say that?)
Yes. You read that right.
They are everywhere. But you haven’t been seeing them because your brain is currently highly trained NOT TO.
And if you can’t see them, then how on earth would you be able to meet, attract and keep one!?
Fear not, boss-sauce. I am going to teach you how to rewire your brain so that within the next 1-3 months you will be swimming in remarkable men in every area of your life.
So first, let’s unpack how this works.
There is a part of your brain called the Default Mode Network. It’s job is to differentiate which information is important to pay attention to and which information is not. At any given second we are taking in millions and millions of data points and our brain needs to have some sort of filtration for you to be able to function.
So what does this have to do with remarkable men?
Well, growing up, all of us experienced one or more of the following:
- unwanted sexual attention or scrutiny by the male gaze
- sexual harassment
- sexual assault to one degree or another
- unsafe male family members, care givers, or authority figures
- or simply the constant dehumanizing messaging rampant in the media we consume everyday
So this incredible part of our brain determined at a very young age that we needed to look out for unsafe and bad men. And it has for the rest of our lives. Each time we’ve had a first hand experience – or second or third for that matter – we’ve filed it away as further evidence that men are at best mediocre and disappointing or at worst unsafe and bad.
We have this big folder of evidence that we have UNCONSCIOUSLY been compiling our whole lives on how men are not who we need them to be.
This also mean that when picking our suitors and partners, we’ve been pulling from a pool of men who fall into these categories.
Holy shit, right?!
BUT – and here is where the magic comes into play – we can change our reality by giving our brain a new prime directive.
Instead we can make a choice to begin to look for evidence that favors the reality we would prefer to have.
That there are, in fact, remarkable men all around us!
So how do you do this?
First, decide that you are going to give this a test run for a minimum of 3 months. When I first tested this out, I did it for a year and the results were astonishing!
Secondly, be dogged about it.
When it came to collecting evidence for men being bad, we’d file it away if it even smelled like it MIGHT count.
So you’ll have to be just as indiscriminate in the evidence you collect for remarkability.
Start looking out for remarkable men and men being remarkable. If you don’t see many examples in your immediate circumstances, feel free to borrow from public figures and celebrities. And start filling up your Remarkable Man Folder with gusto!
For example, I recently saw a picture of President Obama holding an umbrella over Michelle’s head and opening the door for her. I love that! So I put it in my folder.
I have worked with women from all over the world – Portland to Miami to Dubai to the Gold Coast – and many of them worried that their cities might be devoid of the kind of men they really wanted to meet and date.
BUT once they employed this exercise, they reported discovering incredible men coming out of the woodwork and in ways that they never expected.
One client recently messaged me and exclaimed, “I can’t believe how many amazing men there are in Portland!” – a city supposedly notorious for it’s terrible dating scene! If this works in Portland, it will work anywhere!
If you are willing to commit to the practice and bring a certain level of playfulness to your process, I promise you will be wonderfully surprised with how dramatically your experience will shift!
Good luck you fierce and fantastic creature!
You got this!
If you’re interested in learning more about meeting and attracting incredible men, without having to date online or go to bars, send me a message!